During service today, I was just extremely fatigued, just as I have been for the past few weeks. The workload and camps and lack of sleep, it kind of snowballed to the point that I was sorely tempted to just conk out during the sermon.

Then Pastor Joshua shared his testimony and all, and then we sang Majesty and we were encouraged to seek reconciliation with our fellow church members, if there were any hidden bitterness in us that needed to be addressed and brought before God, that time was given to us to do so.

And then my father, my reserved, composed father, came to a certain church member first of all, even before he went to my mother, and embraced him and wept.

My eyes stung.

You see, my father bottles up his feelings a lot.

I'm not even sure he'd be comfortable with me sharing this, but I think it's a time to be frank about our weaknesses.

And there he was, openly admitting his inadequacies and fallacies.

And from then on, I couldn't stop the tears.

I think most of you who know me would agree that I don't really, well, cry a lot.

I don't bottle up my feelings, but I'm not inclined towards extreme displays of emotion.

To a certain extent, I'm of the opinion that tears indicate weakness, and should thus be put away.

But today, the tears wouldn't stop.

And I think it was good.

It washed away a lot.

All the discontentment, all the ungratefulness, all the hardheartedness.

I won't claim that after crying today, I'm going to be a perfect Christian.

I don't think so.

I'm still going to make mistakes.

But what I know now is that God has renewed a new spirit within me.

I only have one life to live!

and I gotta live it for God (:

Because He gave His life for me!

And tears are okay.

Tears, too, are a gift from God and a tool for Him to mould us.

When I cried today, I was vulnerable, as was my whole family.

And that's what God wants.

He doesn't want seemingly perfect, self-sufficient people.

That's merely a facade.

He wants us to come before Him empty-handed, and when I cried today, there were no pretensions.

I cried for all the things that I'd lost, and for what I wanted with my Saviour again.

And so, the tears were good.

And so is the God who gave us the tears today.

Lord, send revival!

Your people have open hearts (:

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